(sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Dashing through the halls,
it's been a busy day,
the mom in "B" bed calls -
her baby's turning grey.
The E.R. rolls one in
She's due it's plain to see,
It's too bad we did not know
this patient has TB
Oh-
(chorus) Maternity, maternity, maternity is great.
We'd like to keep our jobs so go home and procreate
Maternity, maternity, we will never quit
And if you don't deliver soon, we'll just turn up the pit.
This mom who's HIV
just had her seventh kid.
She should either tie her tubes
or keep her privates hid.
The girl who just arrived
is screaming at her kin,
I bet she didn't act this way
when the baby got put in!
Oh - (chorus)
The patient's bed's a mess;
she didn't push as planned,
She should have used a Fleets
or some other brand.
This patient screams and kicks.
She's writhing on her back.
We know that she'll deliver soon
because she's high on crack!
Oh - (chorus)
We try to do exams
but sometimes there's a catch,
Before these girls come in,
we wish they'd trim their thatch.
When primips reach the floor
holding their birth plan,
we know who we'll be calling soon -
-the anesthesia man!
Oh - (chorus)
The young teen says to us
"To give birth is not a sin,
especially when I see
those State checks rolling in"!
Our new patient is a pain.
She swears and shakes the bed.
We wish instead of intercourse
she's just given some head!
Oh-
Maternity, maternity, maternity is great
We's like to keep our jobs so go home and procreate.
Maternity, maternity, we will never quit
And if you don't deliver soon, we'll just turn up the pit!
1 comment:
I love it! I can hear you nurses singing this at Christmas time while you are running up and down the halls!
Susan
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