Forgive my absence, dear readers, but I've been - I'm so ashamed - on Facebook. It started innocently enough. Every now and then, I'd get an invitation to join, which I would respectfully delete. But when I noticed that so many of my co-workers were on it, I thought, "What the hell. What could it hurt?" Like addicts the world over, my co-workers just smiled and encouraged me. Oh if I'd known then what I know now. Email and blogs are mere gateway drugs because Facebook is, for sure, the heroin of cyberspace.
The addiction is immediate. "Hellooo..." said Facebook "and who is this beautiful, scintillating woman who has just logged on? Would you like to send someone a useless gift? Help save the rainforest? Did you know 3 of your friends think you're stupid?"
I didn't log off for hours. Hours! And I might have stayed on longer if the smoke alarm hadn't gone off because I was burning dinner.
I've only gotten worse.I have taken the stupid, pointless quizes, sent and received granny pants, small animals and half-eaten cookies, and found out that my stripper name is Boom Boom Luscious Lips. I have "friended" people I don't like and who don't like me. I've seen photos of people I went to high school with and let me tell you - when you graduated in 1972, that's not neccessarily a good thing!
But the worst ( I have no shame left. I'll tell you every sordid detail), the very worst, is Hatchlings. For those of you who are not Facebook addicts, Hatchlings is an application (they call all these little Facebook games applications, although what one is applying for, I don't know) where one searches various placces on Facebook for virtual eggs which then "hatch" into a variety of virtual creatures which then have to be fed more virtual eggs, thus ensuring that one could conceivably play this game forever. Sure, I could just stop, but if one doesn't feed the hatchlings, Facebook lets you know that your little creatures are virtually unhappy. I was raised Catholic. It doesn't take much to make me feel guilty.
I could expound further on this subject, but I am beginning to feel the first pangs of Facebook withdrawal. So here is my warning - as usual, I'm the dire warning, not the good example - Use Facebook at your own risk because it will suck you right in. And if anyone hears of a local Facebook Anonymous, please let me know. I may need them when I hit bottom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment