If there was a grocery that allowed entrance only to persons of average or above IQ, I would shop there. Even if this store were considerably more expensive, I would still shop there. Saving my sanity, peace of mind and sense of well-being and equilibrium would be well worth the higher price.
I am writing this on the day before Thanksgiving. I have just returned from grocery shopping. I went because today is my regular shopping day. But what were all these other people doing there? It appears that half the population of Torrington -and I am not casting aspersions on T-Town's collective IQ but read into it what you will -anyway, it looked like half the town of Torrington had a revelation this morning that went something like "Oh! I'm having 14 family members over for dinner tomorrow! Perhaps, just perhaps, I should purchase a turkey and I should purchase it at the exact time that Linda Baldwin will be shopping."
I'm just saying...
But it's not just the crowd that gets me - and here's where the whole IQ thing comes into play. If you, a shopper, park your cart at the side (or more likely, the middle) of the aisle and then you stand at the side of the cart, you now have the aisle effectively blocked off. Thus - and pay attention here because this is the crux of the matter - No One Can Get By. If you are shopping with a friend and you park your carts side by side, No One Can Get By.
While I detoured to avoid just such an aisle blockage, I came upon a huge spillage of glass and peaches in aisle 4, and this reminded me of another helpful shopping tip. There are no grocery fairies. If you spill something, unless you notify a store employee, no one will come to clean it up. That's just the way it is. Try to remember it.
Now let's progress to the frozen food aisle. I always shop with people who obviously, open the freezer door only to think, "Oh, I have no idea what I want or why I opened the door. Let me stand here for several minutes and ponder this. Perhaps, just perhaps, something will come to me." Let me explain something here. I'm sure everyone realizes that the freezer section doors are made out of glass. What they don't seem to realize is that the reason they are made out of glass is so that you can see through them. What a concept! You don't have to open the door and steam up every window in that section. Go ahead. Try it next time. Glass. See-through. Remember.
While I was waiting for a window to de-steam, I attempted to drown out the sounds of a child's tantrum. Why oh why can't they leave these beastly urchins home?I hate to say I don't like children but - I don't like children. I especially don't like children who make noise.
And while we're on the subject of children, let me give you Moms a helpful hint. If you are letting your darling steer the cart and he has just rammed said cart into the person in front of you in the check out line, unless the line moves or you tell him to stop, he will continue to ram the cart into the person in front of you. This isn't rocket science.
In closing, if anyone does ever decide to build a store that bans the clueless, let me know. I'll be in the express line with my cart before you can even say "Attention Shoppers".
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1 comment:
Lin-I certainly can relate to your shopping experience but you forgot to add in dragging along hubby who halfway through the store says, "are you done, yet?" Does it look like I am done yet, you idiot? How can I possibly be done if I have only covered half the aisles in the store? I am not running in for bread and milk. I am doing my weekly shopping. We go through this every darn week. Sheesh! When will he realize I am done when I am heading for the checkout counter. I shop systematically up one aisle down the next covering all aisles. Isn't that how most women/people shop? I dislike children too, especially if they are not related to me. I shoot daggers at misbehaving children and their parents. Parents that let their little darlings push the cart so they won't have a meltdown should be asked to leave the premises!!! Don't stand there trying to talk sense into the brat. He doesn't listen at home so what makes you think he is going to listen when he has an audience. Thanks for letting me vent!!! LMAO
Susan
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