Computers Byte

I don't like computers. There - I've said it. Yes, I know computers are the wave of the future. I know they save time. I know every successful business and business person must have one, and I grudgingly grant you that persons who are not computer literate are probably dragging their feet and closing their eyes to the inevitable. Maybe we are stubborn, rigid and behind the times.
I don't like to think I possess those qualities, but, but --- I don't like computers.Correctly speaking, perhaps, it would be more accurate to say that computers have never liked me and after years of them not liking me, I've simply reciprocated the emotion.
Don't try to tell me computers are incapable of feeling dislike. I know better. Not only have computers demonstrated that they can dislike a person, but they also seem to possess a spiteful, mean sort of sense of humor. How else does one explain phenomena such as the computer at work refusing to allow me to enter my name - this, in spite of the fact that it knows I'm the charge nurse? If it does let me enter my name, it often refuses to let me go any further.
For example: I will attempt to put in an order for a simple lab test, say, a CBC (complete blood count for those fortunate enough to have avoided the field of medicine). The computer adamantly refuses to execute this order. Our secretary, Janice (whom the computer loves) pushes the exact same sequence of buttons and the computer immediately, slavishly executes the order. I swear, if it had little computer arms and legs, it would have run and drawn the blood itself.
I have even taken a computer class - even though I felt that the computer needed counseling more than I did. Our teacher told us that computers will only do what one tells them to do. The computer operator is in charge at all times. The operator pushes a button, the computer responds. Simple. Then why do I feel that the computer is pushing my buttons rather than vice versa?
Last week, I attempted to order a diet for one of my patients. This, again, is a simple procedure. In order to get to the diet screen, you must type in your employee number and your personal secret code (mine is LBRN if anyone wants it). Next, you enter the patient's account number and then REG for regular diet. Easy, right?
I typed in my employee number and secret code LBRN. The computer replied, "Not a valid code. Please try again."
"Look", I reasoned with it, "you may not like my secret code, but it is valid. Take it!" I typed it in again.
"Please enter code." it said.
"I did." On the third try, the damned computer, as it is affectionately called, finally took my code, and with relief, I typed in my patient's account number. Quickly, a patient's screen came up. Unfortunately, although not unexpectedly, it was not my patient's screen. I tried again.
"This is not a valid account number. Please try again."
Not one to give up easily, I typed in the number again, being very careful to hit the correct keys. Another patient screen came up. Not my patient's, of course. "I will order this diet or die trying." I punched the keys furiously. I think I heard the computer chuckle. In went the 6 digit account number. The screen went blank.
"Janice," I asked the secretary, "Could you please order this diet for me?" Using the same 6 digits, it took Janice about 10 seconds to order the diet.
I sighed in defeat, just another casualty in the war between man and machine.